redbox review: Battleship (no spoilers)

Battleship is by far the greatest completely unnecessary movie based on a board game with no plot but so bad that it is hilariously good that I have ever seen.

When I say it has no plot, that's not entirely true. There is a plot. They tell you the entire plot via text in the first two minutes of the movie. I'm not joking. Literally the entire plot is spelled out in the first two minutes in a short paragraph and that's it for the whole movie. (Side note: Beau disagrees with me that there is no plot, but I think he was just distracted by the giant pair of jubblies that walk onto the screen just moments later.)

Here's the thing you guys, Battleship is not a complicated game. In fact, it is an extremely simple game that most of us played when we were young children because it is so easy to understand. They take this extremely simple game and somehow manage to litter the movie with references from it. I mean, it's just everywhere. They don't even pretend like this isn't a movie about the board game.

I almost couldn't watch it, the obvious in-your-face references were so prominent in the movie. I had tears in my eyes from laughing at how wonderfully hilarious it was. I have no idea how someone possibly managed to write this movie, because let me tell you, they did not do it with a straight face. 

The whole thing just screams, "Yeah mother fucker! This is a movie about the board game! Don't even pretend like this isn't exactly what you wanted when you rented it!"

Terrible acting, what plot it does have is terrible, the references are hilariously bold and terrible, the solution to defeating the aliens is exactly as stupid as you think it might be...I would watch it again. This movie is possibly the king of the "so bad it's awesome and amazing" genre. 

OK OK, one spoiler. Seriously though, don't highlight this text unless you want a super major spoiler for the movie: They didn't sink our Battleship because they put their peg on the wrong side. Killing. Me. With. Laughter.